According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (2010), women reported less satisfaction, less pleasure, less arousal, and fewer orgasms within sexual activity than men. This shouldn't come as a surprise as the vagina needs to be stimulated externally in order to release that special feeling, but how many women actually make it to orgasm? Founder and CEO of Dame, Alexandra Fine is out on a mission to close the pleasure gap and provide the opportunity for humans with vulvas to come first!

We caught up with Alexandra Fine, the CEO, and co-founder of Dame Products. Unlike traditional sex toy companies, Dame is creating a community, changing the conversation, and redefining the consumer in its space. Oh, and you might have heard that they are currently suing the MTA over sexism due to their kosher subway ads being rejected. In a city where we, the subway surfers, are constantly bombarded with ads by the Museum of Sex, erectile dysfunction brands, and breast implant companies, it is a shocker that “the MTA’s decision to reject Dame’s advertisement material reflects no legitimate principle of law. Instead, it reveals the MTA’s sexism and its decision to support male interests in its advertising choices” says Alex.

“We are looking to shift the conversation around sexual health, and pleasure.”

Traditionally, sex and the media have always been positioned from the male perspective. However, in 2020, we have reached an inflection point with the rise of female produced porn, transgender models, and Savage x Fenty’s fashion show paving the way forward. In fact, we wouldn’t be surprised if Victoria’s Secret ends up filing for bankruptcy soon. A lingerie empire that was started by the epitome of the male gaze is now left with plummeting sales, a canceled Fashion Show and consumer criticism due to its brand positioning of over sexualizing women and its failure to morph with the times.

Speaking of times, let's backtrack to 2014 when Alexandra had a very difficult experience trying to raise venture capital for Dame and resorted to crowdfunding via Indiegogo to launch their first vibrator, Eva. Fun fact: they raised a total of $575,000 in 45 days! “We decided to go with Indiegogo over Kickstarter due to their policy on adult entertainment. We are operating in a very difficult sector that has traditionally been associated with overly sexualizing women and producing inappropriate adult content. Instead, we approach sexual pleasure from a place of education, which clearly resonated with people.”

The Taboo Against Sexual Pleasure

Due to its category of operations, Dame has had an extremely tough time vibrating in the typical startup marketing channels. “We are not allowed to advertise on Facebook, or with the MTA and have had to be extremely creative in our methods to get the word out.”

However, you might have seen Alexandra on The Today Show, at SXSW Expo or read about her in all the press and buzz generated from the MTA lawsuit. “I think PR is not dead; it is a slow build. It is about being consistent and getting multiple hits everywhere versus one big hit.”

The Childhood

A Long Island native and unconsciously quirky, Alexandra grew up in an entrepreneurial family where her father managed a janitorial cleaning business. Looking back, Alexandra was always fascinated by sex and its role in society. “I majored in psychology and minored in fine arts, gender studies, and business at Washington University alongside a Master’s in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University. Turns out, my education all came together at the end of the day. If you follow your passions the universe will find a way to manifest itself. My love for sexual education dates back to first grade when I remember explaining to my classmates the difference between sexual preferences and transgender.” Alexandra had also been diagnosed with HPV in high school and was one of the first women in her circle to be vocal about her experience, realizing that one out of five women today undergo this condition, but no one speaks about it.

On Finding a Co-Founder

“I was working at Babo Botanicals at the time, back in 2013 and started making vibrators at home. I told my CEO when I was interviewed that I see myself starting a company in the next 5 years making sex toys.” A couple of prototypes later, Alexandra hit the internet in search of a product engineer and after attending multiple New York MeetUp groups, found her partner, Janet Lieberman, an MIT engineer. “We were both working on sex toy ideas separately before being introduced by group members. It was very serendipitous as individuals already thought that we were co-founders.”

The Advice

An unusual company, with an unusual story, Dame has defied all odds. Whether it be fundraising, advertising or finding a co-founder, Alexandra encompasses one trait that successful leaders have: tenacity. Her advice for those looking to start a venture in 2020:

If you are really passionate about an idea, figure out a way to have minimum expenses in your life, and focus all of your energy on making it work.
Have a clear vision from the very beginning of what your next 5 years look like. This will help you say no to a lot of opportunities.
Find a co-founder who shares your values and is willing to apologize.
Don’t wait until things are perfect, just get out there. You don’t need to raise money. Figure out what is working and build from there.
Looking to increase clitoral stimulation and vibrate on a higher frequency throughout life? This Valentine day vibe together by purchasing a Dame vibrator. Mention promo code “RADICHE” for 15% off!

Photo courtesy of Dame Products.

Written by Alysha Malik.